And that's all the stupid stuff we do.

Age 23, the evaluation.

Well, I obviously haven't been sleeping much or sleeping too much but erratically, hence why I'm up at 5:17 in the morning, updating my blog on how I feel.

Today is my birthday, and I'm twenty four. Now, I'm not a person who hates getting old, and all that. I like whatever chance I get to get closer to being a hypothetical grownup. But I woke up feeling awful sad. Today is the first birthday I've experienced with excessive change. As much as that should be exciting and inspiring, I woke up feeling insecure and frightened.

During this year, I moved away from home for the first time, I broke off ties with my family, lost a job, gained a job, traveled internationally on my own, learned a new language, moved to a new place, and am trying to survive singledom (which I don't really want to talk about -- there is too much love and depth to even blog it the hell out). At the moment, I feel horribly alone, but I know it's because I'm cranky and it's hard to muster inner strength at now, 5:36 in the morning. I found my own piano teacher, I found a meaning to playing piano and I've been challenged so much by my teacher and my repetoire that I've improved dramatically. I have learned how to accept compliments, and work with grace. I went to my first fancy dress cocktail party! (That was exciting.) Really important too -- I got to pick what I wanted to do. I've come a long way from last November.

Too bad I still feel like shit at the moment. I guess that means back to sleep for an hour.