Realizations

I just realized that my audition for Manhattan School of Music is under a month away.

Um.
Wow, all of a sudden urgency got really real and it's fun. I practiced. But now I'm stopping to watch Kobato, and all I can think is that... "Let it just be a break. You're going to go back and practice. It's just a 20 minute break and you won't be tempted to fall asleep after."

It's like dating. Most of the time I love it, live with it and occasionally want to hit my head against a wall. I also have to reiterate: FML!Chopin. Yes, it's true, the fourth movement is still whooping my butt big time. At least I have all the notes learned. Now I need to actually PLAY them. (Aside: how many of my posts are about piano? If it's a lot, isn't that a good thing?)

OK, super quick, Kobato Ep. 7, then BACK to practicing.

Why Life Is Not Fair Part 2 Billion

It's because I get my divine inspiration to learn music and practice at 11:30 PM or 4:00 AM, and never during my awake hours.

Doushite? ;_;

Tomorrow at 8:30, I need to be up. I'm playing in a small competition at 11 AM in Midtown.

It is currently 4:30 and I woke up with a desperate urge to find out about possible piano competitions and summer festivals. Oh, and the burning desire to succeed at piano. Why why why why why. Why do you hate me, brain? Are you nervous? You've been sleeping so well. Why tonight?

God, I hate you so much right now, brain. Please turn yourself off.

Cinderelley, Cinderelley

Tuesdays are always particularly hard, even if I make huge efforts to be positive. Something about it always gets me. Often times I'm cranky, it's too hot in my classroom and my feet hurt. By 1:30, I have a headache from being dehydrated. I try really hard though. Since I know Tuesdays are my Monday, I work super hard at sleeping, bringing lunch...? But no. Tuesdays kick my ass.

Normally I come home and sleep for two hours after I finish teaching my piano student. Today, I deemed my apartment finally "unliveable". This amount of grossness and disorganization finally just was too much. I have spent three hours cleaning out papers, putting things back in boxes, vacuuming...but I barely have one room done. My living room is tolerable but drowning in papers I need to process. I have a pile of clothing in the hall that needs to be HUNG. As for my kitchen and my room, I have no words. The kitchen is truly hellish -- three weeks of dishes that have just been LEFT there. It's become really hard to eat because I have to mine through the gross dishes. On top of that, my foster cat's old litter box is still there waiting to be processed in my Things to Do list. I have a feeling that as much as I want to wash it, it'll probably going into the trash. Sadness.

And the weird part? Oh man, this cleaning is ... purifying. Gross, right?

Foods

I love cupcakes.

Cupcakes just turned up at our staff meeting -- mini red velvet cupcakes! Whoa! It's pretty excited.

That's my really exciting thing for the day that's making me happy. At some point in some blog, I decided to talk about one thing that made me happy. Today, red velvet cupcakes and standing up for myself makes me happy.

This week, I'm going to crack down. I vow to clean up my shit, meaning, my entire apartment. By Friday after work, I want my place to be shiny for rehearsal. Done.

Today my song is definitely Lily Allen's "Smile".