Horrifying Chinese

Yesterday, I was walking in Union Square, one of my two favorite places to be in NYC. It might actually beat out Columbus Circle, when there's the market open, which was yesterday. I ran into a man who sold some beautiful photography, and looked through about an entire wall's worth of panda photos. After deciding I would buy three, I asked him what kind of deal he could give me, since it was $20 each.

I find out I already got a discount! Normally they sell for $25, but since he saw I was Chinese, I got a Chinese-person-five-bucks-off? Naturally, the conversation segue's into using Chinese, and like any normal conversation with a Chinese adult, the question is asked, where am I from? Obv. I was born here, so meh.

Now here's the part that's horrifying. The man says: "Oh, I could tell by your accent that you were born here."

WHA.

This is a first for me. Most adults think I'm from China, specifically Beijing, although my family is from Taiwan. I must be regressing. I need more time to muse and mutter over this!

I Think I'm In Love

Hee. :)

Today, I decided that I like myself!

I like you, too-layered haircut. You'll grow back and plus, I've always been proud of you for generally being my best attribute.
I like you, skin on my legs. You always loose to a loofah but I like you.
I like you, eyelids without a crease. Yup, you're funny and make eyeshadow sorta trashy sometimes, but no one else has eyes like you!
I like you, brown eyes. I spent too many years thinking brown was brown, but I've recently noticed that you're a lot more than a crayola color.
I like you, funny sneeze. You're charming and help me charm others.
I even sort of like you, tummy. Honestly, I can't think of WHY there's a legitimate reason to like you. Maybe you're a signal that I'm a happy girl. Hm, maybe I've just come to terms with you.

Whee!

Yum yum, it's Friday!

One of the things about my life is that if I don't experience it, I don't know what I'm missing. This is how I feel about breakfast today. I slept in until about 7:20, got dressed super fast, and drove to school. Somehow, I got here early enough to walk and go get a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich.

Man, I'm happy with that. And so is my stomach! Even though I want to rub my eyes a whole lot like I'm sort of sleepy, I'm full and happy. Eeps.

And also it's FRIDAY. This week, I PROMISE myself, I will go to Union Square this weekend and pick up a bag that will serve as knitting/purse bag. My only appeal is to the weather, and that it won't rain all weekend again. I mean, look outside at the beautiful sky! Please keep it that way.

On a totally unrelated note -- my somewhat new North Face Denali fleece is so awesome. It's made my November so nice and toasty, and a little more red colored. :)

Rant time

Rant --

So I thought my day was going to get better once I got daylight but no. Suck. I had to cover a morning meeting AND an 11-11:40 crazy kindergarten. Happy Birthday.

Actually, that's not the rant.

I swear my name is not that hard to spell, honest to god. But SOMEHOW I still have people who've known me for years spelling it C-a-n-d-a-n-c-e. Damn folks, if you want to wish me a happy birthday on my Facebook wall, do me the favor of using your eyes and, god forbid, LOOKING at my name because it's THERE.

Thank you short temper, you're bound to make today delightful.

And that's all the stupid stuff we do.

Age 23, the evaluation.

Well, I obviously haven't been sleeping much or sleeping too much but erratically, hence why I'm up at 5:17 in the morning, updating my blog on how I feel.

Today is my birthday, and I'm twenty four. Now, I'm not a person who hates getting old, and all that. I like whatever chance I get to get closer to being a hypothetical grownup. But I woke up feeling awful sad. Today is the first birthday I've experienced with excessive change. As much as that should be exciting and inspiring, I woke up feeling insecure and frightened.

During this year, I moved away from home for the first time, I broke off ties with my family, lost a job, gained a job, traveled internationally on my own, learned a new language, moved to a new place, and am trying to survive singledom (which I don't really want to talk about -- there is too much love and depth to even blog it the hell out). At the moment, I feel horribly alone, but I know it's because I'm cranky and it's hard to muster inner strength at now, 5:36 in the morning. I found my own piano teacher, I found a meaning to playing piano and I've been challenged so much by my teacher and my repetoire that I've improved dramatically. I have learned how to accept compliments, and work with grace. I went to my first fancy dress cocktail party! (That was exciting.) Really important too -- I got to pick what I wanted to do. I've come a long way from last November.

Too bad I still feel like shit at the moment. I guess that means back to sleep for an hour.

Addendum

Other things I'd like for the birthday:

Lion Brand Thick and Quick chunky yarn in white.
Addi US 6, 8, and 10 circulars. 8's in 16, 6 in 16 or 24, and 10 in 14 or 24.

God, I love my life recently. :)

That's all. :3

Things I Want For My Birthday

Exactly what the title says.

- Lara Miller Tiered Kaelyn Dress
- EcoSkin Trilobyte Dress in red
- Elizabeth and the Catapult's LP "Taller Children"
- 1 ball Skacel Divine in Turquoise (although if you got 2 or 3 more balls in ther colors, I wouldn't refuse)
- 1 ball Lana Grossa 'Pashmina' yarn in red (#11)
- Red Panda Print
- Pandas Building Bridges
- EcoChic Kali Dress in black
- Night Blooming Cereus painting...or anything else by this woman, esp. her koi fishies.
- An african violet!
- Serenity DVD
- Econica silk and bamboo flower dress
- A nice set of drawing pencils.
- Marc Jacobs mouse shoes, for the 5th year running.

Anyway, if you don't know what to get, please go to Purl Knits on Sullivan St. and buy a nice ball of yarn. <3 I actually need about two balls in a nice dark blue, so if you se it!

On loop

Recently during my prep, I open up my iTunes and chill and do work. This is pretty normal, but within the past two weeks I realized I've been listening to Chopin pretty much perpetually.

My body is having such a strange reaction listening to the Chopin Sonata No. 3, 4th mvmt. I just touched on the tip of the iceberg yesterday as to how I feel about it, but it's so strong. Words I can pull up are surging, intense, forceful, pushing, urgent, glorious, triumphant, sparkling...I could go on. I actually have to really force myself to BREATHE while listening, but I get this tightening in my chest, and it's such an intense, passionate squeeze, I don't feel like I have other choices than to listen on repeat. Not that that's a bad thing.

The bad part is I haven't learned it yet and I fully expect more of me hollering "FML!" at my piano every time I try. Fun!

Weekend, Piano, Skool

Weekend Update first.

Halloween was okay! My friend from high school, Krysta, and I dressed up for our first time in years because the great thing about NY is that you CAN get in some elaborate costume get-up and parade around the city and not be strange! I was a dryad, and she was a fairy princess. It was misting rain when we got out of the subway, but then, we got caught in some downpour. Being that we are in ridiculously long skirts, it was impossible to climb light posts to see the parade. Instead we settled for some Red Mango. A regular yogurt is flipping huge! Anyway, the way out was even worse, rainwise. It was such a relief to get warm back in Queens with apple cider and rum. When I straightened my back, I just got this stream of cold water dripping down my costume...ugh! We started calling me "Shrubbery" or "Foliage" by the end of the night.

Piano update next.

I think I found my groove again, which is pretty great. We switched out Ravel's "Alborada Del Gracioso" for Debussy "L'isle Joyeuse". As much as "Alborada" was a easy learn and exciting, the execution was just too much for me and the time I'm allotted, especially with the Chopin 3rd Sonata breathing down my neck like fiery death. Speaking of which, I think I finally hit a breakthrough with the first movement of Chopin, so w00t! After today, I should have about a page and a half more notes to learn. The learning is the hardest part. Second movement is second movement, just takes discipline, and every day staccato, rhythms, ol' fashioned Russian practice. Third is just pretty.

The fourth movement is my favorite to listen to, and if I can accomplish it, I'm sure it will be my favorite to play. It's just a wild rush of intensity, that when I listen to it, I feel breathless afterwards. (Hee, I actually experienced that on the way to school today) However, playing it is a different story. It causes explosive cussin', most commonly "FML! FML!" somewhere around the 3rd page. Add in a few horrified whimpers at the black to white ratio on the page, and that's me around 7pm in the evening.

Personal life update:

Yeah just no. Not gonna talk about this. Wish my personal interactions could stay drama free, but alas.

School update:

...kindergarteners are a savage race. Not that I haven't said that before but I really had to make that clear because I might be forced to tears at some point.

Wow, this entire post went from positive and like yay to really negative. Stop now before I dig myself deeper plz.